Riding a Tiger

In Zen Osho Tarot, there is a card that shows a young man riding up into the sky on a tiger. I think the tiger represents conquering a fear of that which holds us back. But since there are so many things to hold us back, fear-based or not, this tiger will change its stripes often that like our hearts and minds! I was pondering my current "tiger" - the one I had thought I could not face, in fact, it had control of me for years. It was the foundation of so much that needed to change and I just couldn't do it. I kept hanging on even though there was no logic to it. My world would crumble to pieces or something if I didn't not hang on tightly, twist myself around it like smoke from the smoker sitting near you. I was sure that the singularity would occur in that moment of my embracing my tiger. Tigers are very scary, right? Man-eaters. Woman-eaters. But the time had come. There was nothing left to be gained. It was time to wrap my arms around my tiger while it was resting under the Bodhi tree, (I like Bodhi trees - the Buddha found enlightenment sitting under the Bodhi tree.) I dared it to eat me, if I died it might even feel good in some kind of twisted way. I was pretty scared. It felt like something had physically shifted within me as I gripped it. My eyes felt tears trying to burn their way out. But this tiger had scared me too long. No time for tears. Odd, it didn't eat me. It growled low and deep. The singularity happened and didn't happen at the same time. I realized in that moment that my tiger was not scary anymore. He had first looked at me with fierce hungry challenging eyes but now I saw acceptance and respect there too as I searched for signs of imminent death. The same acceptance and respect entered within my heart and mind as I saw it there, too. I was strong. Not weak. Free - er. Taming my tiger had made me far stronger than I had imagined it would. I had been afraid I might die. But I didn't. My tiger and I were one. ---- There will be a new tiger I know in my future. One with different stripes, lying under a different tree. The moment of knowing when it is time to embrace that tiger will come within the flow, be it suffering or joy, and it will not seem strange. The moment of knowing is one that the tiger is ready for just as you will be.