August 19 - Helping my daughter paint

I made it with Lily and her best friend, Russell, to my oldest daughter's home where she will live for the next year.  I helped her paint her room.  I did the most tedious part, painting the baseboard and around the door frames in the special color she picked out.  It was made much easier 'cause Russell taped the edges very nicely.  He has been really helpful to us on this trip.  I am appreciative of his efforts to make Lily happy and to be as helpful as he is, with such a good attitude.  Lily was having a hard time today while we shopped for things for her room.  My granddaughters were bored but uncomplaining.  After one more comment from Lily about what an awful driver I was (by now she was driving instead of me),  there was a realization that NOW my role is similar to what it is for my grandkids - come along for the ride, don't complain, don't make waves.  NOW is the time for letting go of the "mother" role, letting go the sense of doing something so very important, and instead relaxing into just what happens as young children do. It feels strange, this new awareness of relaxing and not organizing and planning so much around my daughter.  Not entirely pleasant though, I'll have to admit.  

  

August 12, 2009

I have decided, after seeing the movie "Julie-Julia" to document through my own blog my transformation as a woman without children at home - after 36 years of being a parent.  

I can't imagine what my blog will report over the next 12 months!  I find myself excited at the prospect of change - and growth.  And like the young lady known as Julie in the movie, I decided to set a time limit for the blogging of this, I hope, transformation. And put some pressure on myself to practice being aware of the opportunity to grow and change, explore and discover!

Next week, we set off for Illinois and Northern Illinois University, and the boyfriend is coming along.  My first challenge...